I thought you would be taller!

Mathew McConaughey turns down role in Guardians of the Galaxy sequel, bloody shame, was really looking forward to seeing what he could bring to the Marvel universe.  Norman Reedus hosting his own motorcycle reality show on AMC, this sounds a bit odd but ok, ill bite.  New pic revealed of the joker in Suicide Squad film, apparently hes a pimp now.  Pitch Perfect 3 moving forward with the director of the second film directing it, good news to some.  Trick or Treat director assures fans that there WILL be a sequel, says be patient.  Villain cast in John Wick sequel, and its Common the rapper, not 100% sure how i feel about this.  Last but not least, set photos show Super Troopers 2 has indeed begun filming, YAY!

Recently saw Eli Roth's new film The Green Inferno, Holy Shit!  Graphic, I recommend it to anyone with a morbid sense of humor, and a strong stomach.  The only thing green in this film were the trees!  Gotta hand it to Eli Roth, now i see why this film took years to release, BUT, Cannibal Holocaust is still the better film.  Much better than his newer film Knock Knock, that one didn't even feel like one of his films, may have just been an experiment of his.  I'm also a big sucker for "torture porn" films, not sure what it is, but the more shocking the film, the more i enjoy it.  That being said, this was also very humorous, again dark humor so be warned.

I recently went on a binge of DC animated films, gotta say, so far these have been preferable to the live action.  I can only hope that Suicide Squad feels at least a little like Batman: Assault on Arkham.  My favorite so far has been Throne of Atlantis, did a good job of making Aquaman look and feel badass.  The live action films they're planning could be good, unfortunately the future of these films depends on how well Batman V Superman does at the box office.  So far, Batman V Superman is reportedly THE most expensive film made in Hollywood, over 400 million dollars, this is troubling especially since Man of Steel barely earned that much Worldwide.  Time will tell.


And now Ladies and Gents, a top 5!


Top 5 Directors!  ( BESIDES SPIELBERG!!!)

5. Guillermo del Toro
4. Gore Verbinski
3. Christopher Nolan
2. Quentin Tarantino
1. David Fincher

I thought you were dead!

Well, its been a long time folks, anybody interested in another Bridget Jones film! Yea me neither! The Pride and Prejudice and Zombies trailer is up and looks just as ridiculously awesome as Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter! James Cameron announces new Avatar comics, (BLEH! Just make the damn sequels already!). The Expendables 4 has been green lit, bet ya cant wait for a PG Expendables film because you know thats coming right?! The new animated film Batman: The Killing Joke could be rated R says writer, yea and I'm a monkeys uncle........wait a minute! Thor and Hulk will team up for Thor Ragnarok, YAY AWESOME NEWS! Luther creator is developing a screenplay for the remake to Escape From New York, YAY MEDIOCRE NEWS! The Notebook director is directing Ronda Rousey in a Road House remake, YAY DONT CARE NEWS! Robert Rodriguez to direct and James Cameron to produce Battle Angel adaptation, HOLY FUCKING SHIT NEWS!!!

Been a few weeks since I've written, and oddly enough not much news in movies. I have seen a few though, M. Night's new film The Visit, that was a doozy. Let me start this off with telling everyone the movie can be viewed in 2 ways, it depends on the persons personality. Now some have a twisted dark sense of humor, others have a normal one, I'm the former. Being that I have this sense of humor, this sort of movie was NOT going to be a horror film to me. This movie was hilarious, I've never seen a more awkward attempt at horror. I wont give anything away but the plot, its about 2 kids spending a week with their grandparents and apparently theres a secret the daughter is trying to figure out. Thats it, wont give you anymore, if you have my sense of humor its worth a watch at the very least because it is bloody hysterical!

Tried to watch the new Vacation film, that ended up being a test of my patience. The trailers made it out to be funny, but 30 minutes in and I just felt exhausted trying to watch it, it wasn't entertaining nor funny, 45 minutes in I just gave up. The director of the fourth Die Hard film came out and said he was planning a prequel/sequel for the sixth film, I'm perplexed by this decision, who cares what John McClane did before Nakatomi? I don't so I'm asking a legitimate question, did anybody ask for a fucking prequel to Die Hard? Cant wait though for this Battle Angel movie, I am so glad James Cameron handed the directing duties over to someone else, and not just somebody else but Robert Fucking Rodriguez! I have a glimmer of hope for the future, provided Evangelion 3.33 doesn't fucking get pushed back!

And now a top 5! Comic Book Films.

5. Hellboy (2004)

4. The Punisher (2004)

3. Blade (1998)

2. Constantine (2005)

1. The Avengers (2012)

What are your favorite comic book films?

Great things have small beginnings!

Time for some news, The Conjuring 2 has begun filming, oh joy......meh. Pacific Rim 2 put on hold indefinitely, saw that one coming from a mile away. The film Taken is getting a TV series, the series will tell how Bryan Mills became the man with a very particular set of skills, this could go either way, it does sound intriguing. The Gambit film has hit another snag, the director has left citing previous engagements, this is sounding more and more like the Crow reboot we still haven't gotten. Ridley Scott recently let slip there may be as many as 3 Prometheus sequels being planned, with that last one I say, well......shit!

Speaking of Prometheus, I recently saw Damon Lindelofs newest film, he didn't direct but he wrote it, Tomorrowland which I have to say wasn't all bad. It started off pretty awesome, glimpses of the city Tomorrowland, although they never call it that, were strewn throughout the beginning. But the narrative was a little off, it took a little minute for it to figure out which story it wanted to tell. The humor was surprising, there were quite a lot of laugh out loud moments. Then the ending came, while not terrible, it felt ridiculous, wont spoil it for you because who knows, you might love it. I think it was definitely worth watching, I just wish the ending could have been tweaked a little, what I saw was laughable.

Finally, I saw the dreaded Fantastic Four! I'm not sure what this film was originally going to be, but it really did end up a big pile of shit. Perhaps I'm being too tough on it, lets examine shall we. Ill list my problems, number 1, they get their powers from the “negative zone” and right after that Reed Richards decides to up and leave everyone, then the government offers Ben Grimm a chance at being normal again but he has to help them with something, cut to a year later and Reed is still gone and the rest of the team are basically super powered mercenaries, What The Fuck!? Why the time gap, that was a chance to show some action, and the movie SEVERELY NEEDED THAT, as it stands the only action was the ending, and don't get me started on how abrupt that was! Then there's number 2, Doctor Doom looked like a rejected 3^rd graders science experiment, what the hell was that, and he goes from glad to be OK to KILL EVERYTHING within a matter of minutes. Number 3 of course was a sever lack of character development, even when you try and care what happened to these characters on screen, you eventually just say fuck it let em die, could be more entertaining than what I'm seeing maybe even funnier. And of course the problem I had since day one, the minute I saw the trailer, THE THING DOES NOT HAVE REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS AND DOESN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THE LACK OF EQUIPMENT.

And now a top 5, Worst Movies (Anything from the SyFy Network doesn't count!)

5. House of the Dead

4. Xmen Origins: Wolverine

3. Ghost Rider

2. Alien Vs Predator

1. The Crow Wicked Prayer

Whats your top 5 worst movies?                                                                                                                   

That kid is back on the escalator!

Anybody want a Mary Poppins sequel, congrats Disney just announced it. You can keep that shit, Jeepers Creepers 3 is what I'm excited for and they are FINALLY moving forward with it! Arnold Schwarzenegger replacing Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice, screw every Arnold hater, I finally have a reason to watch the show! M. Night Shyamalan's new film The Visit opened to decent reviews!? Kong: Skull Island moving to Warner Bros., talk of a King Kong vs Godzilla film coming soon!? Fox is still trying to make a Fantastic Four sequel (GAH!). Mallrats 2 finally starting production, phew its been a busy couple of days!

A rumor is floating around about the live action Akira film, the rumor being instead of 2 films, which was the original plan, it will be a trilogy of films. But thats not the juiciest part, word has it they've been talking to Christopher Nolan to helm them. This is good or bad news depending on the person, some loved the Dark Knight trilogy, while others continue to mock them. Good news to me, if this turns out to be true, I am fucking ECSTATIC! I absolutely love the anime film, never read the manga, but I hear the anime film only covered a portion of what transpired. Sure this sounds a lot like what happened with the Hobbit films, but I have hope, and I'm a bigger fan of Nolan than I am of Jackson. Time will tell, maybe this film will never be made, this is another film they've wanted to adapt for more than a decade, much like Battle Angel.

I talked a little before about Xmen Apocalypse and how I hated how the titular villain looked, granted they did say that wasn't the final look, it still looked pretty bad guys. A leaked still was unveiled last week that showed us a different look for the villain Apocalypse, and I gotta tell you guys, THIS is Apocalypse! He may not look like that the entire film but one can only hope theres a decent portion of it where he does. It seems silly to say I now have hope for the film but I do, our first look of him was God awful. I imagined myself watching the first 15 minutes of the film waiting for the final look only to find out our first look was pretty much the final look, I got up threw my popcorn at the screen, yelled a couple of expletives and walked out warning people this wasn't xmen but a remake of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. But thank you to the bearded dude in the sky, that was not his final look!

And now a quick top 5, Best Video Game Films

5. Street Fighter (1994)

4. Resident Evil (2002)

3. Mortal Kombat (1995)

2. Hitman (2007)

1. Silent Hill (2006)

You cheated you dick!

A Cabin Fever Remake! Are you like a crazy person! And Eli Roth is helping release this! What in the actual fuck have I missed! Its not even an old film by any stretch of the imagination! Another interesting announcement that went completely over my head, the new Halloween film they've working on is not a sequel to Rob Zombies Halloween films, but a sequel to the original Halloween 2 (1981). Ladies and gentlemen, the future for horror is getting really questionable. With a new Friday The 13^th and Nightmare reboot coming soon, I half expect an announcement of a Hellraiser reboot, and guess what, THEY'RE CONTEMPLATING A JAWS REBOOT! Ill end this paragraph with a bit of levity, the new Star Wars toys are hilariously awesome!

Now for a review, San Andreas. Dwayne Johnson's new disaster porn movie, after watching this I tried to imagine how they pitched this film to him, or rather how much did he get paid to do it. It was a hit at the box office which proves beyond the shadow of a doubt, if the movie sounds like it will suck, throw The Rock in it and watch the money flow in. It wasn't too terrible I guess, the effects were nice, but it seemed like a love drama, the disaster was just for cool stuff to look at. I think this could have been made with a lower budget and a smaller disaster and it would've been the same movie, it just seemed pointless. They threw in Paul Giamatti just to tell everyone what exactly was going on, why the earthquakes were happening, you could have cut his character out completely and you wouldn't miss anything, its a shame too, hes a good actor why would you cast him if you're going to underutilize him. I wouldn't even recommend this to the most hardcore The Rock fans.

And now the dreaded Top 5! Cult Classics!

5. Grandmas Boy (2006)

This one was unique, and dare I say it the funniest movie Happy Madison has come out with. You never saw this one coming, I remember renting this because it was about the lives of game testers, and I was a bit of a geek so I thought what the hell. Completely took me by surprise, it was a stoner classic right up there with Bill and Ted, but alas like many cult films, it suffered from poor marketing.

4. The Big Lebowski (1998)

Another stoner flick that went under the radar, this one I can understand why it didn't have a good marketing strategy. Seriously, watch this movie and try to build up hype for it. Its a movie about an ordinary dude, put in an extraordinary situation, and hilarity ensues. This one is also very quotable. The Dude Abides!

3. The Boondock Saints (1999)

You knew this one was coming, this one came out of nowhere and rocked anybody who saw it. This film suffered however because if its director and writer, who made it to the big time and then told everyone to fuck off. There even a documentary about the crisis this movie was behind the scenes, but despite the drama, the guy made a classic film, just don't see the second film!

2. Fight Club (1999)

This is close to being my favorite movie of all time, any kid growing up can relate at least a little to it. This and Boondock Saints had the potential to be block busters, but they happened to come out during a tragic time, during Columbine. So naturally critics and a whole bunch of people slammed them for being too violent, but today they're remembered as classics!

1. Donnie Darko (2001)

This indeed is another contender for one of my favorite films, and another that was difficult to market. This film in my opinion NEEDS repeat viewings just so you can ingest every detail this film had to offer. I also have a weak spot for weird films, the more surreal the better! I don't want to give away anything about this film so if you haven't seen it yet, take a leap of faith, SEE IT!

I don't know, I didn't go to Burger King!

And now a review, The new boxing film Southpaw. Interesting to note, this film was originally slated to star rapper Eminem shortly after his hit 8 Mile came out. Not sure why he chose not to pursue this film but to each their own, as it stands it was a decent film with arguably a better actor taking Eminems place, Jake Gyllenhaal. My initial thoughts on this film after watching were, this felt like a boxing movie for teens who have never seen a boxing movie or never cared to. Its definitely geared more towards the newer generation of movie goers, everything about the film screams generic boxing film, not saying that thats bad, I just felt I had seen it done plenty of times by better filmmakers, BUT, the acting was good, I thought Forest Whitaker was pretty standout in this one. In the end, it was entertaining for what it was, and the ending was heartfelt.

I think its time for a Top 5. Action Films.

5. The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai (1984)

Such a shame nobody saw this movie, it was such a simple yet complex sci-fi action film, it was the expendables without the muscles, hell I thought it was cooler than the expendables! Peter Weller played an awesome neo cowboy, John Lithgow an awesome villain, Jeff Goldblum was in it, it had everything!

4. Robocop (1987)

Another awesome Peter Weller film, Robocop may have technically been a parody of sorts, but that didn't stop it from being AWESOME! It had everything a teenage kid with testosterone pumping through his veins would want, blood, guts, profanity, and ROBOTS FIGHTING TO THE DEATH!

3. Escape from New York (1981)

Snake Plissken, need I say more. John Carpenter broke the mold creating this action hero. Alot of action films since this one have borrowed from it, even video games. I can only hope the remake they're planning on doing is at least half as good as this one.

2. Predator (1987)

In my opinion, this is the movie that launched Arnold Schwarzenegger into super stardom, another sci-fi action film, it starts off with a group of expendable like characters going into the jungle on a rescue mission. Turns out, Something else had a plan for them, an extraterrestrial hunter, one of the most wicked looking aliens of all time.

1. Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995)

This is one of those rare thirds in a franchise that was as good if not better than the original, and while there weren't that many explosions, a complaint most had with the film, it was still a hell of an action film. I mainly liked this one because of the camaraderie between Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson, they were a perfect fit for a character driven movie!

Again, these are just one assholes opinion!

Pretty soon here I'm going to watch San Andreas, Dwayne (The Rock) Johnsons new disaster film. I'm dreading however, not a big fan of disaster porn movies, I fucking HATED 2012, and I didn't think too highly of The Day After Tomorrow either. The only one I really liked was Independence Day, but the rock is in it so who knows, I wasn't a fan of the first G.I. Joe film but I saw the second and I must say it was better mainly because of him. I know I'm not the only one thinking this, but how cool would it be if the rock joined Vin Diesal in the new XXX film. I'm on pins and needles for this new XXX, I'm mostly waiting on an announcement on who will be directing it, if Rob Cohen comes back, I'm a happy man, if say, Skip Woods is hired to do it, I may start a riot.

But the ice is slippery!

Guillermo Del Toro wants Godzilla for Pacific Rim 3, HAHA good luck, you're lucky you got the green light for 2!  Not alot of people enjoyed Pacific Rim mainly because in the end, it was pretty much a homage to old school monster movies and in my opinion mecha anime.  That and this film suffered from another case of poor marketing, the trailers showed a much different film, its really a shame these days that a trailer gives you an idea of a film only to have you see the final product and its nothing like that idea.  That's why i think Pacific Rim suffered, it didn't make as much as it could have, so many movies these days suffer from poor marketing and its just getting worse.  Frankly, with how much it did make i was beyond shocked they even considered a sequel.

Not sure if anybody is a Entourage fan, the HBO series, but i just saw the film and i must say, if you're a fan of the series you will definitely love this film, however if you haven't seen the series, you might not enjoy it, actually thinking back on it NO you wont.  I did have one problem with it, it seemed like they tried to cram an entire season into a 90 minute movie, so naturally it was fast paced, BUT if you've seen the series you wont have any problems getting every joke, it was a good film but if i had my choice between this movie and another season I'd pick the latter.  I can just imagine someone only hearing about this movie from a friend going into it not having any idea of what to expect, they might leave saying WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?!?  WAS THAT GARY FUCKING BUSEY!!!  HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS THE "i see dead people" KID!!!  You know what, never mind, the movie might actually get new people to go and watch the series from the start!

It was just announced the Assassins Creed movie will share the same universe as the video games, the movie is about a new character with ancestral ties to the assassins, this idea i like, making original characters and interweaving them into the game in which the film is based.  although it has been done before in the Resident Evil films there is potential for that approach.  Not a big Fan of the Resident Evil film franchise, the first one had completely original characters but had connections to the video games, with every sequel there was more from the games in the movies.  I say I'm not a big fan because the first and second were actually decent, not sure what happened behind the scenes with the third one, but it seemed like the writers got together and said, you know what we should totally do guys, TROLL EVERY FAN OF THE FIRST 2, AND KEEP TROLLING insert evil maniacal rich guy laugh.

The sun is shining, but......

Most of the major films of next year have wrapped up filming, next year should be interesting.  The one i look forward to the most, Captain America Civil War, oddly enough the same film I think will probably suck, but I need to remind myself that I thought The Avengers was going to be terrible, which I was wrong about.  I just have trouble with believing that a film of this magnitude can possibly be pulled off, the comic ark was HUGE! Marvel also doesn't have nearly half of the characters needed, granted this film will be loosely based off the arc, but still I worry.  God bless those bastards at Marvel though, even if it does suck, THEY GOT MY MONEY!

Now onto some juicy news, Vin Diesel's next film will reportedly be XXX 3!  This one is a long time coming, especially after that dreadful excuse of a sequel, nothing against Ice Cube but I really don't buy him as an action star, maybe I've seen Friday too many times.  We need another XXX film with THE XXX, not another star stamped with that tattoo on the back of their neck, HONESTLY!  That and I may not be the only one thinking it, please, for the love of God, STOP MAKING FAST AND FURIOUS FILMS!  Don't get me wrong they're actually good action films but come on guys, 7 films in and they want to make 2 more, are you fucking kidding me this isn't star wars mother fuckers!  Please end it at 7 with that tearjerker of an ending, it was a perfect sendoff to a great guy and a perfect end to a series, MORE XXX AND MORE RIDDICK!!!

Tiny outburst if I may, Dear James Cameron, FUCK THE AVATAR SEQUELS, make Battle Angel like you said you wanted to do, Avatar came out in 2009, at this rate you will be dead before you finish the third AND YOU WANT TO MAKE 4!  Battle Angel is begging to have a good adaptation made and you sir are the perfect choice, for those unfamiliar with Battle Angel here ya go.  I feel I should say this because while Avatar was a good film, it was hardly your best work.  If anything The Terminator and its sequel were your best, prime example why Battle Angel might be a return to form.  Well, that's all for now, I'm going to try and throw a review/rant by you guys in the next couple of days, could be about the live action Dragonball film, could be about Prometheus, or Shriek if ya know what i did last friday the 13th, yea that's a real movie!

Everybody gets one!

Looks like the Jason Todd/Joker theory is gaining momentum with yet another analysis of the trailer, I'm still on the fence, but could be different and cool.  Check out the article here!   The creator of The Crow has come forth to announce despite going through numerous directors and actors, the reboot is still moving forward.  My own opinion, they should have given up when Juan Carlos Fresnadillo and Bradley Cooper left, the concept art alone was awesome.  Ali Larter who played Claire Redfield in the Resident Evil franchise recently said the next film will be the last, not sure how i feel about this, haven't like any of them since Resident Evil Apocalypse.  Last but not least, the director for Star Wars Episode 9 has been announced, Colin Trevorrow, the director of Jurassic World, i may not have liked Jurassic World, i however think he might be a better fit for Star Wars.

Since Jon Watts has been announced as the new director for the untitled Spiderman reboot, i decided to do some research.  His new film was just released, a film called Cop Car.  So naturally i checked it out, the film is about a couple of kids who run away then find a cop car, then steal it.  It shows the kid's perspective and the cop who's vehicle they stole, i don't want to give too much away, but WOW!  It starts out innocent enough, but it doesn't take long to go into WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT territory.  id call it a morbid comedy, other might see it as...well ill say it again WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!  This guy is directing the new Spiderman!  To be fair, James Gunn has also done a Marvel film and that turned out pretty awesome, so who knows.

Not sure if anybody is a fan of Attack On Titan, but I'm going to talk about it anyway.  The live action film differs from the anime in several ways, almost funny some of the decisions they made, mainly because they had to film a German centric anime in Japan.  First the look of the Titans, pretty fucking goofy and creepy, some were just downright funny how terrible they looked.  Second, the film moved way too bloody fast with little to no exposition.  Third, they crammed too much material into a 90 minute film.  But you know what, given what they had, it was actually entertaining, maybe the second part will be better.  FUCK!!! that baby Titan was creepy!

Oh No, More Bacon!!!

Anybody here sick of reboots and remakes. I'm not against them, sometimes i'm even for them, but what was just announced sickened me, why oh bearded man in the sky, why, would they choose to remake JUMANJI! They already tried a spiritual sequel with Zathura with mixed results but come on, I may not be alone in saying that was probably Robin Williams best film. Watch them decide to make it dark and gritty, seriously the film was perfect, there is virtually NO ONE asking for a remake. Except that asshole jerry in the corner of every meeting, every time someone has an original idea jerry just chimes in with “lets just remake something!” Jerry needs to be shot, point blank just to be safe! I'm going to hate myself for saying this, but just watch, I can see the headline now, John Cena just cast as Robin Williams's character in JUMANJI! Thats it, wheres the sawed-off.

Lets take a moment and talk about Will Smith and his reluctance to be in a sequel to bad boys, namely 3. I used to love his films, there was a time when I thought he could do no wrong, then Hancock came out. Which I thought was just ok, but boy I did not see After Earth coming. Sidenote, why do all these famous actors flock towards shit directors, Uwe Boll, Skip Woods, and the big one M. Night Shyamalan. Its almost like actors really don't care what movie they're in, 20 million, sure lets do the sixth sense 2. Will Smith has hit a BIG lag in his career case in point, his next film suicide squad hes costarring, yet when someone brought up independence day 2 he glared at them, Will if I may be so bold, you could use a hit my friend, saying maybe to Bad Boys 3 is like saying “Fuck my fans, what do they know.” Time will tell what happens to Will.

Winona Ryder confirmed with a news outlet Beetljuice 2 is indeed happening. Yea, ok Winona, how long have we been hearing about a beetljuice sequel, CLOSE TO 2 DECADES. Folks don't get too excited, at one point a script was completed for a film called, Beetlejuice Goes To Hawaii, so this is it huh Burton, no wonder the guy doesn't like doing sequels, although he can be good at it, Batman Returns. Then again who knows, they may just make it, if they can make independence day 2 after 20 years of speculation, Beetlejuice 2 may get made. I have an idea, a small one mind you but I think it would benefit it greatly, give the film to a new director, have Tim stay on board as writer and producer, but this is just one assholes opinion.  

Alien Vs Predator.....F#@K that was hard to watch!!!

I recently read an interview online where they asked Sigourney Weaver of Alien fame, why did it take so long to consider another Alien film after all this time, one of her opinions was the Alien vs Predator franchise ruined almost any chance of a Alien 5. I agree, but she wasn't on board the Alien vs Predator film to begin with. In case you don't know how the film got made, there was a scene in the end of Predator 2, in the Predators trophy room there was the skull of a xenomorph (Alien). This scene alone spawned countless spinoffs in comic books, novels, and video games. With every story centered in the future Alien universe, because thats when the creatures were first seen, but not according to the movies we got.

The first Alien vs Predator film was SHIT for a number of reasons, the number one being, why the fuck center it in the present AND on Earth where we don't have space travel. Their reason is lovely, “Well you guys didn't know this, but xenomorphs were here all along, theres no need to go into space!” WHAT!?!?! Then they explain that the Predators used the xenomorphs for training the young ones. Oh, and they used the ancient humans to spawn them, we apparently worshiped them as gods, and gave them our virgins to help spawn the xenomorphs. This bullshit, inconceivable, lackluster, obscene, fuckall of an idea aside, at least make the fights cool, THEY FOUGHT LIKE WWE WRESTLERS! And why make the predators these beefy, steroid induced, testosterone laden creatures, that would make Schwarzenegger in the pumping iron days weep, anybody remember the first one, yea the Predator was big, but he had more of a basketball player build, kinda lanky, that one made you feel like it was harder to kill, these beefcakes, if you ran fast enough you could flip them the bird be on your merry way and not have to worry about the thing hunting you down, it might die of a heart attack while chasing you.

And those are only a few reasons, but Fox listened to one complaint above all the others, which of course is a rather decent complaint, it being PG13, every other film in both franchises is rated R. So, they announced a sequel, Alien vs Predator Requiem, promising us the hard R film we wanted. Pump your brakes Fox, that was ONE of the many complaints, and in the list of them it was rather minor but hey if they listened to one complaint, maybe they listened to the others right? FUCKING WRONG! They set it in the present and on Earth AGAIN! NO, FUCKING NO! What we wanted was the Aliens and the Predators to fight in the future, ya know, where EVERY FUCKING COMIC AND NOVEL PLACED THEM IN! Not to mention the movie pretty much spits in the face of every fan, plasma doesn't burn, Predators actively kill non armed humans, and a wonderful small town setting, Ladies and gentleman, Fox is treating you viewers like you have the mental capacity of a goldfish. And, based on the new Fantastic 4 film, THEYRE STILL DOING IT!!! Again, these are but a few of my thoughts on the matter, I may do a Prometheus review, which I hated more than these films, then I can get REALLY colorful!

Looks Hungry, For Humans!!!

Well...that true detective season 2 ending was DARK!  I apologize in advance if i have regular readers, have been a bit busy but I'm still here.  Just finished true detective season 2, for those who haven't seen season 1, DO IT!  I cant really say this season was better or worse, it was very different other than the obvious changes in characters.  I felt this season was indeed a good way of showing that after season 1's happy ending, not every story has one.  But DAMN, it leaves you with a feeling of no hope whatsoever, which it really was trying to do.

I may as well go into some anime, if you haven't figured out by now, I'm a fan of any medium.  Just saw the new Dragonball Z film, Resurrection F which brings back frieza the fan favorite.  Initially i wasn't really on board with bringing him back, at this point in the DBZ universe hes pretty much a punching bag.  But they made it work, in that i mean he did gain some strength and a new form, but by the end of the movie you figure out, Goku and Vegeta were pretty much just toying with him.  that being said i thoroughly enjoyed it, made me feel like a kid again.

Fantastic 4 bombed at the box office only bringing in 23 million in its 4 day weekend.  Fox came out to the press to announce they haven't given up hope in bringing these characters to life.  REALLY FOX! FUCKING GIVE UP, MARVEL STUDIOS IS LAUGHING AT YOU!  After the film bombed a rumor started to float around that the planned sequel to the film which already had a date, will instead be put on the back burner for another film, a sequel to a film that has MUCH more hype and good press floating around it, not to mention fans are going nuts for it in the good way. DEADPOOL 2, and if it happens the director of the first film wants to bring Cable into the mix.  Fanboys and fangirls rejoice!

Is it friendly?

Top 5 Horror Films:

5. Dog Soldiers

4. Cabin in the Woods

3. Evil Dead (remake)

2. 28 Days Later

1. Ginger Snaps

This is one of many top fives ill be doing. Id explain why I thought each of these deserved to the the top, but this is just one assholes opinion. That being said, I think ginger snaps is the best werewolf film ever, 28 days later was terrifying in that it was the first time zombies were fast and aggressive (THATS RIGHT I SAID ZOMBIES), evil dead has to be the best remake I have ever seen, and the other two were good but not for any particular reason.

Now for some news, it was recently announced that a pez movie is in development, no word on the playdoh film. Prometheus 2 will begin production in January, and Damon Lindelof has nothing to do with it! Ronda Rousey to play herself in upcoming biopic, I guess if eminem and Antoine Fisher can do it anyone can. After a lengthy legal dispute, it was announced that they are moving forward on another Dungeons and Dragons film, like we need another one of those. News of the new plot of Jurassic World have surfaced, it will involve “open source” dino tech, cant wait to see what the Koreans will do with this! And Channing Tatum finally signed the papers, he is Gambit, o boy.

Saw a new film over the weekend, Unfriended. While I thought the ideas for this film were interesting, maybe it should have been based on anything other than a teenager who was bullied into suicide, and not just any bullying, CYBERbullying. The whole film takes place on this girls computer, it had me engaged it was really cool, but the writing kinda devolved from there, it turned into a all teenagers suck movie. Ill spoil something right now, THEY ALL FUCKING DIE, and by the end you're not sympathetic at all, I call that bad writing, but again this is just one assholes opinion. Seriously kids, if something is making you tremble while you're on the net, UNPLUG THE FUCKING COMPUTER!

Another One!

Finally! The tremors5 trailer is here! Still looks goofy, still has Burt, I cant wait! Now im waiting for an official announcement for a new Chucky movie, yep, still not tired of those either. If I can give any advice on sequels to franchises, don't just shoot down a sequel even though its going straight to dvd. There have been plenty of straight to dvd surprises out there, I am however one of the few that liked every tremors and Chucky film, but still, when you see a sequel to a franchise you liked that went straight to dvd, give it a shot. Who knows, you may end up watching something you were surprised wasn't in theaters. But you could also stumble across something that makes you question life, like that new hellraiser movie, WHY REPLACE DOUG BRADLEY AS PINHEAD!!!

Speaking of horror films, a new friday the 13^th is on the horizon, no doubt without Kane Hodder again but it is a remake. I wasn't really a fan of the first remake, I guess thats a trend in Hollywood now though, folks if ya didn't like our first remake congratulations WERE GONNA FUCK UP AGAIN! Some examples would be fantastic four, spiderman, alien, and punisher. Some of these remakes however are shockingly good, case in point the new evil dead, hell even our remake of ringu. But for the most part Hollywood is getting the impression, if they fuck up, they can always try again. Minor side note, alien vs predator could have been brilliant had it been set in the aliens future time line instead of the present.

For those viewing these blogs of mine, tell me some of your favorite remakes or some sequels to franchises you would like to see done.

What the universe holds!

So much for gambit, Channing Tatum has reportedly left the production, this may be rumor.  Hugh Jackman has posted a teaser image of him as wolverine with the hashtag onelasttime asking fans what they would like to see in his last wolverine film.  This is funny to me in that, more than 90% of suggestions are going to thrown out the window, mainly because all the fans will want multiple characters in it.  Still no word on if he is going to be in xmen apocalypse, there wasn't any word on him being in first class either so theres still a chance.  An xforce movie was in the works a little bit ago but those talks have died down, now the talk is of the new mutants comic.  

That's the news so far, lets do something different, here are the next big films coming out in August.

August 7th

Fantastic Four

August 14th

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Straight Outta Compton

August 21st

Hitman Agent 47

Sinister 2

August 28th

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: The Green Legend

When August ends ill do one for September.  These were the highlights of whats coming out, usually when August hits the summer movie season dies down.  Interesting though, the most hyped for movie coming out this year is coming out in December, of course I'm talking about star wars the force awakens.  I can only imagine how big this film is going to be, not only is George Lucas gone, but star wars is in the hands of the fans.  Now if this one fucks up too, i believe we only have ourselves to blame, everything about this movie screams, we have heard the fans and we have delivered.  

Antman and the future!

Not much news on a monday, I think ill just jabber on. Antman was a surprise, went in not really caring about the character and left wanting more. Not much of a spoiler, but I would advise everyone to stay after the credits, this being a marvel movie you probably already know you should do this, they show a brief scene from captain america civil war, very brief but it is a cool treat for marvel fans. Really glad they pulled off an antman movie, however, they've been working on this for close to a decade if not more than, I got the feeling Edgar Wrights version would've been a better film, but what can ya do.

I have a few things to say about the upcoming captain america civil war film. The number one thing would have to be, why rush and adapt the civil war arc, and condense it into ONE film. On top of that, civil war had ALOT of marvel heroes and villains, theres no way on gods green earth they can successfully adapt this into 3 films let alone 1. Also, why make it a captain america film, the entire point of the arc was that you weren't sure who to root for, what are people going to think going into this movie, guess I cant root for ironman cant I. I wont spoil what happened to the captain in the comic, but if its disney handling this film, there is no possible way it can be done. Of course I have to remind myself that when the avengers was announced, the first thing that came to my kind was, yep this is gonna suck, so I am wrong from time to time.

After seeing the batman v superman comicon trailer I gotta say I have hope again. Fucking movie has been completed for more than a year now and finally there releasing it, competition had a lot to do with it but still, warner bros doesn't seem to be very confident of this film. That being said, I still want to see it, I like that we don't have to sit through another batman origin, there will of course be flashbacks, but I like were getting a weathered and bitter batman. I'm also one of the few who enjoyed Henry Cavills superman, man of steel did have flaws but I think the dark and serious superman was the way to go. Hopefully theres some news tomorrow!   

july 24 2015

I've gone my whole life not watching any movies premiering on the syfy channel, yet somehow I managed to get myself trapped in a room with none other than the aptly titled sharknado 3 oh hell no! The circumstances of how I got myself into this predicament I wont get into, it was funny after it was over, my friends quickly stood up and shouted WE WASTED 2 HOURS ON THAT, my only response was tell me dear friends, what the hell did you expect exactly, an Emmy winning performance from Tara Reid, I think not. Also, dear syfy, 2015 and were still killing the black guy first, and why does Ann Coulter get to live exactly, actually I imagine she must taste gamy never mind.

In movie news, after being crowned third highest grossing movie of all time, it was announced Jurassic World would be getting a sequel. Not very surprising I know, I can only imagine what there going to do next though, raptors with frickin lasers attached to there frickin heads......what? Director of horrible bosses Seth Gordon to direct baywatch film with Dwayne(The Rock)Johnson to star, fingers crossed we get Scarlett Johansson. News of a xmen fantastic four crossover floating around, I guess fox thought, lets not get rid of them, LETS COMBINE THEM, HAHAHAHAH SUCK IT MARVEL! I do not agree with this.

Thats it for now, might be doing a review of antman tomorrow, still trying to figure out a good rating system, I have a couple of ideas that sound pretty funny but haven't decided yet. Only movie i'm really looking forward to now is hunger games mockingjay part 2, of course star wars in December, cant think of anymore i'm really looking to see in theaters. Might as well end this on a quick review of Paul Blart mall cop 2, Kevin James please stop. 

july 21 2015

I am about to review a film most love but I didn't. Be aware, this is just one assholes opinion of a film beloved by many. Jurassic world, the fourth in the Jurassic park franchise that is comprised almost entirely of new characters. Lets start with how I felt going in. I had heard rave reviews from critics and friends alike, but I was still on the fence having not seen it, I felt a disturbance in the force if you will. A few minutes into the movie I start to hear the signature Jurassic park theme, only something was off, it wasn't as seamless as it should have been, thats because I noticed later, they just took the track off of the soundtrack from the first film, think im lying look it up on youtube its the exact same track, funny enough they never play it again the entire film.

Then the characters start to infuriate me, the only one I liked was Chris Pratt's. One minor annoyance was whenever there was a helicopter in the scene it looked like a toy, but people came out of it, I was flabbergasted. The number one thing I didn't like and it seems weird but I felt it would've been cool. You never really hear the signature t-rex roar, its always mashed together with different sounds, was there a need for that, seriously just give us the t-rex roar from the first one unspliced. Many more things annoyed me but I wont go into them, I left the theater feeling like Stan from that one episode of south park where all he hears is shit and the doctors diagnose him with being a cynical asshole.

Not much in news, they're making a minecraft movie and why not, right. They're also making an emoji movie (HUH). Disney is back with more live action announcements, this time its the sword in the stone, to Disney I say, if it turns out like that god awful king Arthur movie, I will never go to another Disney film again. Wait...Disney owns marvel..........dammit!

july 20 2015

Over the weekend I saw a new film, new to me at least. Here on earth, starring Chris Klein and josh hartnett, basically a rip off of a walk to remember which was a better film. While I was watching this I realized something, for some reason or another I HATE Chris Klein. Not sure why, could be because his acting is atrocious or.....nope maybe I just hate him, the movie didn't convince me he should be liked either. During the course of the film Chris and josh are vieing for attention from this girl, who's joshs girl already, and there is no reason whatsoever to actually root for Chris's character, hes a stereotypical DOUCHEBAG! You end up feeling sorry for josh because of course the girl is gonna go for the asshole.

I could've gone into that more but my head started to hurt, the movie was bad. Not much in movie news, a 21 year old was found dead in demi moores swimming pool, dont know why, but I found it funny. Benicio Del toro is being eyed for the villain role for star wars episode 8, he was going to be kahn in star trek into darkness but turned it down, it begs the question how does the force awakens end, clearly it ends on a cliffhanger, proving my point that the new star wars will give us the big middle finger and leaving us with more questions than answers. I got a bad feeling about this, hehehe!

july 18 2015

Another lull in movie news, weekend is coming up which usually means the news is nill. The writers for the new spiderman have been announced, a couple of comedy movie writers. Not sure how to feel about this, more humor in a spiderman might be good, but there goes any bit of realistic drama atleast in my opinion. Comedy writers have been notorious for poor dramatic writing. Spiderman technicly speaking is more of a humor character, but he also has very heartfelt, and depressing moments in his history. One can hope they get it right and lets face it, marvel studios seem to know what theyre doing.

Lets talk about fantastic four while were on the subject of comic book movies. Im one of the few that actually liked the tim story films. Sure they were a bit light hearted but it seemed to be a good fit for the team. I may be wrong, never really looked into the fantastic four comic history. The new film they have coming out is a reboot to try and win some younger viewers by making it “edgier”. Two problems I have so far from footage ive seen, 1 THE THING DOESNT WEAR PANTS! And we get a clear shot at his special zone, guess what, NOTHING THERE! Atleast with the other ones he had pants on so one would think, wow that guys just a big rock he must be miserable, but atleast hes got his meat and two veg. Number 2, the twins are white sue storm and black johnny storm, theyre adopted sure, but where does the word twin come into play.

july 16 2015

Still not sold on apocalypse, his look for the film is just goofy. Stephen kings IT has found a new director, hopefully it moves forward im interested in seeing what they'll do. Another slow day in movie news, the lull continues. So this entry shall be a review of sorts.

Finished the film TAPE directed by Richard Linklater. Decent film about two high school friends that meet back up after Robert Sean Leonard character has a movie opening in a film festival. Ethan hawkes character is a pot dealer with delusions of grandeur, they catch up in a motel room after years of not seeing each other, all goes well for the first 5 minutes then the problems that were there before rear there ugly head. Its a film about friendship and how fragile it can be, and how we take it for granted. Also one of those films that take place in a single room for the entire film.

New to the reviews, probably should review something I despise to see how colorful I can get with my language. Neil blompkamp is moving forward with his alien sequel, this one hopefully with the surviving cast of aliens. Ignoring alien 3 and alien resurrection is probably the smartest choice, but I liked alien 3, you actually could have stopped the franchise there but oh no, we have to clone her to see if the franchise can still make money. At least with this one they're ignoring her death in 3, HOPEFULLY!!!

july 15 2015

If you haven't seen the trailer leaks from comicon, you might want to check them out. Xmen apocalypse was one with our first look at the films titular villain. My thoughts, too early to tell but from what ive seen, not impressed but again too early to tell. Hopefully they work on the makeup for apocalypse because right now he looks like he came straight out of the mighty morphin power ranger movie. Of course deadpool was awesome, glad they're taking advantage of that r rating. Batman v superman and suicide squad are different stories.

I'm still on the fence about batman v superman mainly because its been pushed back a few times even though its been complete for little over a year now. Suicide squad gave us our first glimpse at joker, im cautiously optimistic about jared leto, I like he didn't exaggerate his voice to much for it but the damn tattoos throw me off. I'm hoping there is something more to them, maybe the joker tattooed himself for a weird (but logical for the joker) reason.

Slow day in movie news, theres always a lull after comicon. Resident evil: the final chapter has finally started filming, not sure how excited I am for that. Lord knows im gonna watch it, with each installment after the second one I hope maybe this one will be ok, only to watch the whole thing and scream at the tv WRONG. Still, there is the thin veneer of hope. Another bit of news, disney isnt done doing live action versions of their animated classics, this time however they're making a prequel to aladdin about his genie (WHAT?!?!).